i don’t know how more people haven’t got mental health problems
thinking is one of the most stressful things i’ve ever come across
and not being able to articulate what i want to say drives me crazy
i think i should try and read some more books and learn some more words
my sister used to read the dictionary, i’m going to start with that 
i’d like to travel. i want to see india and the pyramids,
a whale and that race with all the bicycles in france
i’m not sure about rivers, they scare me
but i love swimming. i’m good at it
and when i swim, i think about numbers. i count the laps
when i was younger, i saw a house burnt down
and i walked past it every day for the next six years
derelict, black, chalky and dangerous
i wandered if squatters live there
still not sure, but i know there were never any parties. cause it was shit
after a while, the council got round to tidying the town
making it less offensive, here and there
they said it was a nice sore, so they tore it down
behind the house was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti
and the word “cunt” written across it in giant letters
and now, i walk past that
i like sitting in the park and i like walking through it
i like taking my dogs there and friends. and i like being alone
i like flowers and simplicity
i like compassion and thoughtful gifts
i like being able to shout, but i wish i could be quiet
when i’m quiet, people think i’m sad. and usually i am
sometimes when i’m at a busy train station
somewhere big with noisy trains, like king’s cross
i feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out
because i’ve got something to say,
don’t you want to share the guilt?
don’t think, just sleep